Prongs' List of What Padfoot is Not Allowed to Do
by Chocolate Chip Cookie and Milk
Summary: James is tired of Sirius's weird pranks. He made a list of what not to do in their Sixth Year.


**I thought I would just write on of these list things. Is it funny? That's for you to decide. **

Prongs' List of What Padfoot is Not Allowed to do in his Sixth Year

1. Transfigure Snape into a shampoo bottle and give it to Filch

2. Give Dumbledore a jar of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans and then claim they are the Muggle ones.

3. Attempt to dye Mrs. Norris's fur electric blue -

4. and blame it on Frank Longbottom

5. Steal Lily and put her in the Vanishing Cabinet.

6. Steal Lily and attempt to give her a bath.

7. Steal Lily and attempt to give her a mustache.

8. In fact, your never allowed to steal Lily.

9. Tell Hagrid it is now legal to take Argog on a walk with first years.

10. Draw faces on pieces on wood and carry them around claiming they are the new Marauders.

11. Get Prongs and Wormtail to turn into their Animagius form with you in the middle of Transfiguration class to win extra points -

12. Then tell Professor McGonagall that you're registered -

13. Then proceed into intruding the Ministry and create fake files claiming that you are when she goes to check.

14. Tell first years that the fruits are haunted by the Bloody Baron.

15. Dress up like a puppy and get girls to 'pet' you.

16. Show the Ravenclaws the way to the kitchens then tell the house elves to dispose of them.

17. Ask Professor Flitwick if he's taller then a goblin -

18. When he glares at you tell him the Giant Squid told you to ask and smile politely.

19. Get Moony to show his 'wild side' to second years.

20. Get Moony to become gay for him.

21. Get Moony to give him nine cups of coffee -

22. then proceed to drinking it -

23. Then do acts 5 - 7 all in one day.

24. Tell first years that biscuits are actually Sir Nick in disguise.

25. Ask Professor Binns what 'Booty Tang' means -

26. Then bother him until he tells you -

27. then tell him you did know what it means and walk away.

28. Tell Hufflepuffs that Professor Sprout is going to give every one of them detention if they don't give a pot of Devil's Snare and claim it to be a harmless potted plant -

29. And when she finally done disposing of them, give her a real potted plant and watch her throw it out the window.

30. Convince Madame Pince to Filch a potion. Said potion is a love potion. -

31. Then watch Filch chase Pince around the library while screeching, "LET'S HAVE A THREESOME WITH MRS. NORRIS!"

32. Tell everyone to call you Smexy Sirius, the Sex God.

33. Ask Slughorn if there is a potion to lose weight, when he ask whose it for poke his belly.

34. Tell Wormtail it's official Girls Date Fat Boys Day.

35. Tell Prongs's fan club that James was attacked by a rampaging werewolf and watch them tackle him in the middle of the Great Hall.

36. Ask the Slytherins to open a stripe club -

37. then invite only Muggleborns there.

38. When cursing the crap out of Snape, ask him how he gets his hair that greasy.

39. Tell Lily Evans that Prongs has stalked her for five years and even knows where she lives.

40. Tell Mrs. Potter that Prongs is a naughty little boy and almost seduced him.

41. Tell Moony that you love him and lick his face

42. When Moony freaks out, proceed into telling him how sexy he looks when his face is panicked.

43. Tell Lily to name her child with Prongs Sexy Sirius Potter.

44. Teach Wormtail to play Snake and then make jokes about how he and the snake are gaining a bit around the belly.

45. Try to go out with the Astronomy Professor by using star based pick - up lines

46. Introduce Lucius Malfoy to scissors and demonstrate how cutting your hair is important.

47. Tie Moony and a pregnant wolf to a chair and see if they can communicate. -

48. Then tell everyone that Moony got her preggo.

49. Sing Stayin' Alive in the Great Hall -

50. and claim to hate the Bee Gees.

51. Sing 'There's a Party in my Tummy to the Great Hall.

52. Make up a song called "I'm to Siriusly Sexy." -

53. Then sing it to the Great Hall.

54. In fact you're not allowed to sing in the great Hall at all.

55. Dress up as a sexy cowboy and proceed into seducing every female in Hogwarts, including Lily -

56. Then seduce Moony.

57. Give Prong's toothbrush to first years to clean the loo when they get detention. .

58. Give Professor McGonagall 'Transfiguration for Dummies' for Christmas.

59. Give every Professor in the school their respective subjects Dummies book.

60. Tell Snape you love him and proceed on asking him to be your Valentine. -

61. Tell him you were kidding when he looks disgusted at you -

62. Then tell him that Lily really wants to be his Valentine.

63. Tell Bellatrix that Voldemort is waiting for her to stop being a psychopath then he'll love her -

64. then tell her Voldy's the only psychopath in this couple.

65. Tell Moony it's cool to be gangster -

66. And dress him up in street clothes and tell him to call you his homedog -

67. While you call him your homewolf.

68. Ask Lily if she would rather have tiger lilies or regular lilies at her wedding with Prongs.

69. Ask the joke 'Why is Six Afraid of Seven' to every one in Gryffindor House.

70. Get Tonks to morph into Professor Flitwick and tell the Ravenclaws that all homework is to be completed in Invisible Ink

71. Use the Invisibility Cloak to pretend to be the ghost of the Urric the Oddball.

72. Ask Wormtail the difference between a rat and mouse -

73. and leave him there to ponder.

74. Tell Lily he just wants to eat her up and wink.

75. Tell first years that Voldemort was secretly Emeric the Evil and tell them to write a essay about it.

76. Tell first years that Prongs is secretly a goblin at learned the Stretching Charm

77. Find Prongs' secret journal and recite it in a fast hyper squeaky voice.

78. Keep said fast hyper squeaky voice and have a talking competition with Professor Filtwick.

79. Give Professor Flitwick purple robes and tell him they look dashing on him.

80. Give Moony a chocolate bath.

81. Ask random people knock-knock jokes.

82. Find a girl name Roxanne and sing the song 'Roxanne' to her.

83. Find Lucius Malfoy and ask him where his posse is at.

84. Act gangster to the third years.

85. Make up five names that has the word 'Topeka' in them.

86. Invent doughnut grenades -

87. and give one to Wormtail.

88. Tell Hufflepuffs to give their Quidditch players treacle tart -

89. and tell them that they build muscles

90. Give Narcissa Black permission to marry any Muggleborn wizard -

91. and tell her not to marry Lucius Malfoy.

92. Call Lucius Malfoy 'Luscious.'

93. Tell Moony to get some hair dye for those gray hairs.

94. Give Wormtail some mulch and tell him it's yummy in your tummy.

95. Get a bullhorn and shout Good morning in Prongs' ear in the morning -

96. then blame it on Moony.

97. Give Slytherins Muggle money -

98. and ask them to give him change for a dollar.

99. Make all males in Gryffindor grow a beard.

100. Switch Lily's shampoo with peanut butter.

"Padfoot here," James yawned as he handed Sirius a piece of parchment. James had just written it last night. He's been doing it every year when he realized that Sirius thought of the wierdest pranks and jokes ever. Sirius read it.

"What is this?" he exclaimed.

"A list of things you are not allowed to do for your Sixth Year."

"But why?' he whined. "I what to sing 'Stayin' Alive' in the Great Hall!"

"Cause you'll annoying everyone," James said. James loved a good joke every now and again, but what Sirius does was annoying. When he came to live here with him a couple weeks ago, he put peanut butter in his bed. Then Moony's. Then Wormtail, but he didn't mind as much because he ate it.

"That's the point!"

"But - "

"Nothing Padfoot," a new voice said. Moony.

"Moony," he whined.

"Did you put that he can't give me a chocolate bath?" Remus asked James. He nodded. "Good."

Sirius pouted. "You're mean."

They left Sirius to mull over the list. Then he thought of something.

Something wicked.

"I'll just do it anyway."


End file.
